My dear lgbt+ kids,
I can’t drive. I do not have a drivers license, I never even took any drivers ed.
For a while, as a teenager/new adult, this was very very embarrassing. It felt like everyone around me was swapping stories about their instructors and classes, they’d discuss how their driving tests went, they’d proudly announce they got their license… and I sat there quietly, couldn’t contribute anything to the conversation and when people asked me how my classes are going, I’d have to awkwardly explain that I don’t take any and then would be needled as to why.
You may expect this post to go the „But now I am older and more confident and that’s why I’m no longer ashamed“ route, but it won’t. Because quite frankly? I do not need to be confident about it anymore - because nobody cares anymore.
You see, back then drivers licenses were a big deal. People my age talked so much about them because my age at that time was the typical age to get one. But obviously the people my age got older alongside with me. And at my age now, people just don’t talk about drivers ed anymore. It doesn’t come up in conversations anymore. I may say that I don’t own a car and people will either go “okay” and the conversation moves on or they will go “cool” and we talk about how bad cars are for the environment. Nobody has asked me in ages if I have a drivers license, let alone demanded an explanation why I don’t have one.
Obviously all of this has nothing to do with being lgbt+ - but it’s an example for how life can change.
Anything that seems like a big deal now, anything that feels painful or embarrassing or isolating now, may simply not matter anymore in ten years. Your environment and circumstances will change. The priorities of the social groups you are in will change. The groups themselves will change.
That doesn’t fix the Now or means the feelings of the Now are irrelevant. But it can be a comforting thought when you feel like it’ll never get better.
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Dad
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